Think about how many people you meet through the course of a year or two.By devoting most of your time to a relatively hopeless relationship, your deprive yourself of the chance of exploring other relationships that might give you what you want!After all, how can something be a problem if it isn’t relevant to something you want?Knowing the outcome you want also lets you know what exactly constitutes a solution to the problem.Consider someone who goes from suboptimal relationship to suboptimal relationship, each lasting 2 years with 2 months in between.
Do you want an activity partner that you have sex with once in a while (this is not necessarily separate from the person you want to spend your life with)? Keep in mind that “being married” is just a label, like “dating”, or “girlfriend”.
“Married” people can range from enemies trying to make each other’s lives miserable, to activity partners who happen to live together, to someone you are madly in love with and want to start a family with. ” This is actually a “good” case where the difference in definition is apparent before legally binding stuff occurs.
So when you figure out if you really want to be married, also make it clear to yourself what being married means to you. What if this conversation happens with one person wanting kids and the other not after they are married for a while?
This does require a bit of faith and a lot of security, as you won’t be going on a lot of dates or doing a lot of “stuff” with people.
You’ll need confidence in knowing that what you are doing is right.