There is a specific reason why these women are drawn to a nice-guy type over other types of personality.
You will find an important clue in the name we commonly use to label men with this kind of personality.
The romantic partner of the woman with traits of BPD will soon find that although she demands complete adherence to the relationship rules from him, she is incapable of holding up her own end of the bargain.
Many nice-guy types are willing to accept these flaws.
Surprisingly, relationship skills are linked to a person’s ability to follow the rules.
Just like there is a profile for the borderline personality type, there is also a profile for the kind of man that they often choose to partner with.
The type of personality that so often gets caught up in a relationship with a woman with traits of BPD is what we might call a “nice guy” type.
When we don’t, our relationship partners experience our selfish actions as a mild form of betrayal of our relationship agreement.
These minor betrayals over agreements to make each other feel safe in the relationship and to keep things fair for both people are at the heart of most of our everyday arguments.